I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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