This is not my ceiling
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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