What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
