I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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