sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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