I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
