guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
