Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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