its not stalking. its research.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
