Your face is a jimmy john
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
