I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
