Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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