The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
