Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
