Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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