Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
