I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
