so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it because I queefed?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize