So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
