I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
