Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
