he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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