Christians are straight up FREAKS
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
