ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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