So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
