sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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