All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize