Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
