how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize