just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
