Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
