Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So much rum. So many feels.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
