why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
