Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
