I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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