I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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