would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
