He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
