When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
