Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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