What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
