The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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