I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
