oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
