Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
