One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
