my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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