We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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