I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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