I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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