I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
