i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
