Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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