You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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