ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
