gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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