Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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