Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
