I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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